Fear, an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined. Fear is an emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. It can be a natural and a necessary response to danger, but it can also hold us back from reaching our full potential.
Nobody relishes feeling fear especially when it comes to the precious lives of our children. Though at ROA, we ask this of parents- to relinquish control and conquer their own fears because it may be the best gift they can ever give their children. Over the years, we’ve come to discover a constant three traps parents tend to fall into that trigger fear:
Needing to be in control.
Needing to be right.
Needing to look good to others.
We find that we must heal ourselves from our own childhood triggers rather than projecting these fears onto our children in a never ending cycle. Only then, can we be fully present with them, calm and reflective rather than emotional and reactive.
Do we prefer to stay in our comfort zone because it makes us feel good or are we ready to step out into an adventure of the unknown no matter how uncomfortable we may feel?
We don’t ask parents to disengage. On the contrary, we ask parents to bravely and lovingly engage by leaning into their children’s journeys (it’s their lives after all) without protecting or preventing or even robbing them from entering the dark caves of struggle. ROA parents understand what Joseph Campbell meant when he said, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
The view on the other side of fear is one that includes the light shining from our children’s eyes as they discover the treasure of their inner gifts. It is a bright and happy place to be. Trust the process.
Be patient.
Nothing worth doing comes easy.