
A few sessions ago, we launched on the effect of words have by using a clean, uncreased single sheet of paper and started folding and crumpling it after each negative word directed towards it. After which, saying kind words and compliments unfolding and undoing the creases until there was none left. No surprise, the creases could not be undone even when unfolded, uncrumpled or even ironed. (Yes! We brought an iron that day just to make the point). Who could imagine that a single sheet of scrunched up paper could be so effective in visibly demonstrating the devastating impact of thoughtless words and actions can have on people?
This is very helpful when discussing bullying, however, even as parents (without meaning to bully our children) our words impact our children in many and lasting ways. It’s easy to forget just how much weight our words carry, especially in the everyday moments when we’re busy or frustrated. You can’t take back words like "You're lazy," "You're not good enough," or "Why can't you do this?" – Once they are out there, they stay out there. Your children continue to hear these and it becomes their inner voice.
What if instead of a directive, “Do this,” we switched our language to something more empowering and collaborative, like “You work so hard. Can you help me out?” It’s not just about getting the task done, but about reinforcing their worth and strength. I can (almost) guarantee that it will work 100% better than going the negative route. Instead of tearing them down, you are building them up and achieving the same end result: they are helping you. Children, by nature, love to help.
Every morning, the cycle starts over. We get a chance to shape the lives of our children. Our words, our tones, our attitudes towards our children become their inner voice. Every word we utter has the ability to help or hinder our children. It’s up to us to choose to empower, love, guide, and support them with our words. What will your next spoken words to your children be?
Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.
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